A dose of humour from the bush:
By Nils Kure:
Stories seldom lose any substance over the years that they are told, and this one is no different. I cannot vouch for the truth of its telling since it happened before I arrived at Mala Mala, if indeed it happened at all. It centres around a group comprised of the employees of a large company that had selected us as an appropriate incentive destination and had booked MalaMala almost exclusively. They all knew each other and naturally a competitive spirit was in evidence from the start - who had seen the most animals, the most birds, the best sighting and so on. These worthwhile but admittedly bland pursuits rapidly palled, and after the first day an enterprising group and their ranger upped the ante by lying (or rather standing behind bushes) in wait at a corner - loaded with desiccated elephant droppings, and pelting the unsuspecting occupants of the next vehicle containing members of their group.
Naturally the situation escalated rapidly, and the radio was soon alive with deceipt and disinformation. Rangers would deliberately announce that they were travelling on quite different roads in order to fox their opponents, and shares in elephant droppings went through the roof.
And so it came to pass that a ranger, enjoying a quiet sundown stop with his guests, heard a vehicle approaching. He and his tracker rapidly assessed its position and direction and plotted a course that would lead them to a prime interception. Best of all, they were well supplied with ammunition, and - the cherry on the top - not your average, aged, dry and light balls but fresh, moist and weighty lumps of finest grade pachyderm pellets. They reached the interception point (hastily dubbed Trinity for what they hoped to achieve) with time to spare and, breathless with anticipation, awaited the moment. Closer, closer the sound of the approaching vehicle - hold, hold - the squad leader restrained the more impatient who were inclined to go off at half cock - the fender came into sight, now the hood, and with exquisite timing the order was given and the team rose from their places of concealment with savage cries of triumph and a deluge of ordure enveloped their hapless victims.
Everything, from the moment the other vehicle had been detected, the choice of location, the concealment and the moment that the ambush was sprung, had gone off like clockwork. The missiles, even, could not have been bettered for their effect on impact. However, there was one small detail that had been overlooked.
The approaching vehicle did not belong to their group.
Legend has it that they were of a nationality disinclined to appreciate the subtleties of practical humour. Legend is divided on the topic of the outcome of the exercise, but all accounts agree that it was not a favourable one. Some of the more outlandish accounts can be dismissed as pure myth. Perhaps the entire story has its roots in a wishful imagine if situation, postulated by rangers in idle moments that in later years was transformed into a statement of fact.
The identities of anyone or ones who might happen to read this account and wish to come forward with positive eyewitness intelligence as to its veracity will naturally be protected.
Rumour has it that the ranger concerned was David Evans, our Business Manager and the Managing Director of Mashatu Game Reserve. He remains tight lipped about his involvement……………. But no outright denial has been made. |